Set Cravings to Maximum

I want to be a lexicographer.  Not because I like words, but because the title sounds cool.  You could walk up to anyone on the street and say "I'm a lexicographer!" and they would probably react in one of three ways.

1. They could immediately start taking off their clothes and start to dry hump you, naked.  
2. They could start spinning around in circles while chanting "I am not the droids you are looking for".  
3. They could become your personal servant, waiting on you hand and foot, until you said the magic phrase: "Brown clowns in gowns frown while they drown."

Now, people won't react this way if you aren't actually a lexicographer, so don't get any wise ideas of lying to perfect strangers about your profession.  You have to take 15 years of lexicographer school to become head lexicographer at a major lexicography corporation before people start reacting this way.