I was watching television the other day, when a man on an infomercial started to try to sell me stuff. "Free liposuction!!!" "Two hundred under-aged Vietnamese school girls!!!" "Fifteen brand new ballpoint pens!!!" I sat there thinking. What do these three things have in common? Then it hit me: Richard Dawson. Richard Dawson, as some of you might know, was a television actor, most famous for appearing on Hogan's Heroes, Family Feud, and the Match Game. These are three things that he would have loved to purchase. So I called this man up on the telephone and told him, "I think you're going to have a hard time selling these things as a bundle. The one person that would buy all three of them is dead. He died of esophageal cancer about a year ago." This made the man very upset. I could hear him sobbing and whimpering through the telephone. Then, from a distance, I heard the man scream "BUT I JUST WANTED A PUPPY!!!!" I slowly hung up the phone.
What was wrong with this man? Survey says..... everything.
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