Tuesday, July 30, 2013

More Things to Think About While Being Fed to Lions

I was watching television the other day, when a man on an infomercial started to try to sell me stuff.  "Free liposuction!!!"  "Two hundred under-aged Vietnamese school girls!!!"  "Fifteen brand new ballpoint pens!!!"  I sat there thinking.  What do these three things have in common?  Then it hit me: Richard Dawson.  Richard Dawson, as some of you might know, was a television actor, most famous for appearing on Hogan's Heroes, Family Feud, and the Match Game.  These are three things that he would have loved to purchase.  So I called this man up on the telephone and told him, "I think you're going to have a hard time selling these things as a bundle.  The one person that would buy all three of them is dead.  He died of esophageal cancer about a year ago."  This made the man very upset.  I could hear him sobbing and whimpering through the telephone.  Then, from a distance, I heard the man scream "BUT I JUST WANTED A PUPPY!!!!"  I slowly hung up the phone.

What was wrong with this man?  Survey says..... everything.

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