Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Bortzenkragenshtufel

For years, humans have been searching for a way to describe the vast majority of things.  Like that feeling you get when someone is watching you from behind a stained glass window during a thunderstorm; or the time of day just between your first and second bites of your lunch; or the fantasy world created by a prodigious two-year old in Essex, England named Willie Randolph.

But alas, we have not been able to give any of these things names.  Well, I think it's time we started working harder.  I'm sure that Germans have words for them, albeit those words are probably 90 letters and 23 syllables long.

Monday, March 23, 2015

It's Been A While

When I was parking my car, I noticed that people were standing around doing nothing.  "Hey!" I shouted at them.  "Why isn't anything happening!?"

They replied, "Because the chickens can't see where they're going.  If they can't see where they're going, then they can't have babies.  And if they can't have babies, then the whole world is going to end!"

Strange, I thought.  That would mean that chickens having babies is the one most important thing in the entire world.