Blizzard's Seemingly Arbitrary List of Offensive Character Names

So, I'm creating some new characters in Diablo III to run on Hardcore mode.  My thought was to name them some sort of sex-related jawnz, since, you know, "Hardcore."

Anyway, I was kind of surprised at the names that were and were not accepted.

For my Wizard, I tried the following names:
 - RonJeremy -- DENIED
 - RonaldJeremy -- DENIED
 - PeterOToole -- Accepted

The surprising part was not that PeterOToole was accepted, it was that RonJeremy and RonaldJeremy were denied.

For my Demon Hunter, I tried the following names:
 - JizzCannon -- DENIED
 - SpermCannon -- DENIED
 - SemenCannon -- Accepted

I was delighted when SemenCannon was accepted.  I felt like I was gaming the system.

Also, my first ever character's name is TitsMcGee.  Apparently "tits" is not on Blizzard's offensive names filter.

Snuggle Bone

Take a look at my snuggle bone.  Go ahead.  Do it.  You know you want to.

No, my snuggle bone is not for sale.

Tumble Dry, but Only if You Want To

Sometimes the boats are the best thing in the boat world.  Other times, goats are boats in disguise.  You figure it out.

When the boats are making the rounds of the Round Table, something decides to be on in the kitchen making whirring noises.  This is the time when you get a baseball bat and start singing Christmas carols.  Walk across the moat with care, then hit the baseball with a hammer.  That'll teach 'em.

There are times that you get suckered in by drugs and alcohol and sex with women, m'kay?

Answering the phone is like the phone answer because the answer to the phone is the phone answering answer phone.

The Men Who Stare at Boats

Sometimes I think that people are just trying to make life difficult for everyone else around them.  That thought was confirmed this week when things started falling from the sky and people were using magnets to attract the metallic things towards them.  I don't know why they were doing it, they were just being douche bags.

It also seems that things that are are actually things that aren't, and things that aren't aren't things that aren't, but are things that are.  Think about that.

Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.

John, while James had had "had", had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.

Things that go on in the bathroom should stay in Congress.

New Month, Different Cakes Made of Bundt

So, thirty one things have happened since I last posted.

1. Germany declared war on the country of Timor-Leste
2. George W. Bush went back to school at Yale, flunked his first 4 classes, and then went to Europe to live in solitude as a goat farmer
3. Kelly Clarkson released an album titled "Monkeys Are Forever"
4. Twenty seven of the world's most flamboyant homosexuals organized the world's best bake sale
5. Nintendo released a press statement saying that they would bring tripping back to the next installment of Super Smash Brothers (to everyone's delight)
6. A truck carrying a load of Nokia phones crashed into the British Parliament building
7. The Greek god Zeus made an appearance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno
8. Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford revealed that he is, in fact, a Brony
9. South Park creators Matt Parker and Trey Stone won 15 more Tonys for best musical
10. Weathermen across the nation were dumbfounded when there was NO weather whatsoever for 13.5 seconds on August 31st
11. Alice Cooper and Iron Maiden played a show in Antarctica to a crowd of 40,000 penguins
12. Sharpie released a line of permanent markers that have even more hallucinogenic effects when you sniff them
13. Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig entered a hot dog eating contest and finished 3rd, behind Tom Cruise and Regis Philbin
14. Cave Johnson started publicly trading Aperture Science on the NASDAQ stock exchange
15. Green became the new official color of the Ivory Coast
16. Vermont became the first state to elect an extra-terrestrial being governor (Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't count, California)
17. More than 1,400 new mushroom species were discovered in a small town in Brazil
18. Mike Massey, famed billiards trick-shot artist, co-founded a chain of restaurants with Poison lead-singer Bret Michaels
19. Hewlett-Packard introduced a fully functional robotic arm designed to write the Declaration of Independence in the Cyrillic alphabet
20. Beyoncé changed her name to Béÿoncæ
21. The National Association for Stupid Acronyms sued the National Aeronautic and Space Administration for trademark infringement
22. The Wizard of Oz debuted on Mars
23. Pluto was reinstated as a planet
24. Jerry Springer was arrested for public intoxication after drinking fourteen mimosas at Trader Vic's
25. Selma Hayek enlisted the help of fourteen Portuguese tour guides to show her around Hollywood
26. Colonel Sanders rose from his grave and demanded that KFC change its name back to Kentucky Fried Chicken
27. Bowling For Soup released a statement endorsing the consumption of Twinkies
28. Apple's new iPhone 14SG3.1 II was released on the market
29. Norway celebrated its independence from Iceland, even though they never were under Iceland's control
30. The University of Michigan officially change its name to "Ohio State's Bitch"
31. I wrote this blog post

Pay No Attention to the Pink Poodle Behind the Curtain

Things are sometimes not what they seem to be.  Be careful people.